Friday, November 16, 2007
HELP! I’m Trapped In This Car And Dying Of Boredom!
I never understood the horrors of commuter traffic until we moved to Nashville. Now, I not only understand, I endure its hellish unpredictability every working day. My only companion, not by choice but necessity, is the radio. For anywhere from two to three hours a day, I have nothing but the radio to keep me company as I suffer the stupidity of the vast number of individuals the state somehow deemed worthy to hold licenses, along with the illegals who are driving on luck and my prayers they don’t hit me.
What's more, I am one of those who consumes radio on a regular basis. Trapped in a ten-by-ten office with nothing but a window into a hallway, my rare guests come only to give me more work and hardly ever just to socialize. It is a dull and tedious existence preceded and followed by the afore mentioned commute. In all, I estimate that I listen to 13 to 15 hours of radio in my four-day work week. Therefore, I can consider myself an expert on what is out there. And the verdict, it’s terrible, bad, stale, tedious, mind numbing and terrible. However, it is consistent. That is to say, boring. Regardless of the genre of music or talk radio format, the results are the same, large doses of the same, it’s practically the same stuff 24/7, same is the name of the game, more of the same each and every day, it’s the same sameness every single hour of every single day. You think that was a lot of redundancy? That’s radio in our modern age. Choiceless.
Let’s take my favorite medium, talk radio. The Democrats and RINOs want to crush talk radio. Why? Because it is dominated by conservative hosts who blather on about their pet issues and drag the rest of us along. That is not to say that they don’t include liberals. Any regular listener to talk radio knows these hosts love to get as many liberal callers as they can. In fact, the medium is bias. If you are a left-leaning liberal, the farther left the better, you have an excellent chance of getting on a show, more so than a conservative. The reason is simple, liberalism sounds as dumb as the old Abbot and Costello skit on baseball. The liberal caller usually makes the conservative host seem the most intelligent person in the history of mankind and riles the average conservative listener. In other words, it sells. That is why liberal radio fails every time it has been tried. Liberalism cannot stand the test of open discussion. It sounds stupid and unworkable when challenged. Ask the hosts of the Air America programs and the other assorted liberals such as Allen Colmes who have tried and failed. But my point is that the medium is predictable, boring. Even for a conservative rightwing religious nut like myself (just trying to give the liberal reader a point of identification). But the point is that talk radio is the same regardless of who hosts it or from what region it originates. Boring, the same.
Talk radio, Country music radio, easy listening, crap music (not a misspelling), even Christian music stations, all offer the same sameness in their particular specialty. Radio is to entertainment what fast food is to the diet, bad for you no matter where you eat and yet, it is quick and convenient.
I long for something new, something different, a choice. It is no surprise that IPods are so popular. The consumer can have his own choices of blandness instead of the station programmer’s choices (I said it before and I’ll say it again, the easiest job in the country is program director).
We live in a country where those who develop NEW are rewarded with riches and wealth and power. Yet, we are consistently treated to THE SAME. I know, it is easier to produce the same for whatever than it is to develop a new product but, PLEASE, where are those willing to try!? As an aspiring writer and producer, I am trying to force my way into the entertainment business. But it is hard because, sameness sells. The powers who control entertainment would rather pay someone who, once-upon-a-time, managed to create a product than a newcomer. For them, it is a safe investment. Yeah, right. Name the bombs recently set off by those who had one successful venture. They are legion.
If, in the not too distant future, you read a story about a Nashville commuter who suddenly and inexplicably went crazy and rammed his car into his fellow commuters while screaming in emotional pain, you might know the identity of said person and the motivation.
What's more, I am one of those who consumes radio on a regular basis. Trapped in a ten-by-ten office with nothing but a window into a hallway, my rare guests come only to give me more work and hardly ever just to socialize. It is a dull and tedious existence preceded and followed by the afore mentioned commute. In all, I estimate that I listen to 13 to 15 hours of radio in my four-day work week. Therefore, I can consider myself an expert on what is out there. And the verdict, it’s terrible, bad, stale, tedious, mind numbing and terrible. However, it is consistent. That is to say, boring. Regardless of the genre of music or talk radio format, the results are the same, large doses of the same, it’s practically the same stuff 24/7, same is the name of the game, more of the same each and every day, it’s the same sameness every single hour of every single day. You think that was a lot of redundancy? That’s radio in our modern age. Choiceless.
Let’s take my favorite medium, talk radio. The Democrats and RINOs want to crush talk radio. Why? Because it is dominated by conservative hosts who blather on about their pet issues and drag the rest of us along. That is not to say that they don’t include liberals. Any regular listener to talk radio knows these hosts love to get as many liberal callers as they can. In fact, the medium is bias. If you are a left-leaning liberal, the farther left the better, you have an excellent chance of getting on a show, more so than a conservative. The reason is simple, liberalism sounds as dumb as the old Abbot and Costello skit on baseball. The liberal caller usually makes the conservative host seem the most intelligent person in the history of mankind and riles the average conservative listener. In other words, it sells. That is why liberal radio fails every time it has been tried. Liberalism cannot stand the test of open discussion. It sounds stupid and unworkable when challenged. Ask the hosts of the Air America programs and the other assorted liberals such as Allen Colmes who have tried and failed. But my point is that the medium is predictable, boring. Even for a conservative rightwing religious nut like myself (just trying to give the liberal reader a point of identification). But the point is that talk radio is the same regardless of who hosts it or from what region it originates. Boring, the same.
Talk radio, Country music radio, easy listening, crap music (not a misspelling), even Christian music stations, all offer the same sameness in their particular specialty. Radio is to entertainment what fast food is to the diet, bad for you no matter where you eat and yet, it is quick and convenient.
I long for something new, something different, a choice. It is no surprise that IPods are so popular. The consumer can have his own choices of blandness instead of the station programmer’s choices (I said it before and I’ll say it again, the easiest job in the country is program director).
We live in a country where those who develop NEW are rewarded with riches and wealth and power. Yet, we are consistently treated to THE SAME. I know, it is easier to produce the same for whatever than it is to develop a new product but, PLEASE, where are those willing to try!? As an aspiring writer and producer, I am trying to force my way into the entertainment business. But it is hard because, sameness sells. The powers who control entertainment would rather pay someone who, once-upon-a-time, managed to create a product than a newcomer. For them, it is a safe investment. Yeah, right. Name the bombs recently set off by those who had one successful venture. They are legion.
If, in the not too distant future, you read a story about a Nashville commuter who suddenly and inexplicably went crazy and rammed his car into his fellow commuters while screaming in emotional pain, you might know the identity of said person and the motivation.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
What's That I hear? Oh, Nothing New.
I love Country Music. Which is why I listen to Country Music radio for a month or two each year. Yep, I can tune my radio to one of the three local Nashville radio stations right in the heart of the best music genre this great country has to offer and, after 4 to 8 weeks, hear all the newest releases for the previous year. Then I look for something else, bored with country. I know, being a consummate radio consumer, that all the radio stations, regardless of their genre, have a play list that changes little from one month to the next. Actually, the lite rock station I use as background while working hasn’t changed their play list by more than a dozen songs since I tuned it in two years ago. However, in a few weeks, they will go to wall-to-wall Christmas music until after the holiday and I love Christmas music this time of year. Probably the easiest job in america today is Program Director. What do they work, an hour a week? Let's see, I'll take this song out and insert this song. Done for the month. But I digress.
Country Music is the worst of the worst when it comes to their play list. You see, it appears that the industry has decided there must be one or two big stars who drag the business along and so they promote those big stars to death. But they are living in the past and killing the genre in the process.
Not so long ago, in a past universe, there was a great superstar named Garth Brooks. Just about everything Garth touched turned to gold and his ship lifted other smaller ships around him at the same time. Country Music boomed with Garth at the top of the marquee. Then he retired, probably bored but more than likely just plain tired of pulling the weight.
So the powers that guide Country Music looked for a replacement. In their infinite wisdom, they seemed to have determined to put all their efforts behind one and make him the big star Garth once was. That selection was or is none other than Kenny Chesney. This diminutive little bald guy with the chipmunk cheeks and the voice that sounds like someone perpetually chewing on tobacco somehow got the nod to take over Garth’s place at the helm. Lift the ships, the big guys commanded. As a result, you cannot listen to Country Music in the city of Country Music without hearing a Kenny Chesney song once every hour. And God help the radio listener when old Kenny comes anywhere near the city on tour. Then he is promoted to a nauseating point of infinity.
Here’s the problem. I don’t much care for Chesney and he is no Garth Brooks. Garth made Country Music come alive. He had a personality that drew the audience into whatever he was doing and a showmanship that made you look even if you didn’t want to. Garth’s music was country but it reached out to everyone. And at the end of his shows, Garth could take off his hat and take a bow.
Chesney is a bore. His music hasn’t changed since she thought his tractor was sexy. Yes, he did have a couple of catchy tunes with a Caribbean sound, okay, Caribbean tobacco chewing sound but, at some point it was decided that all his releases would sound the same. It is a pathetic, love sick dweeb who just can’t forget the past and she’s so darn perfect, remember how great it was and she is, blah, blah, blah, blah. Cheney’s music has no original thoughts or changes. The songs all have the same rhythm to them with the same guitar solo somewhere in the middle and the same chipmunk chaw vocals all the way through. And if you listen to the three main country stations in Nashville, home of Country Music, you are treated to this cardboard box music at least once an hour. Along with Faith and Tim, that’s it. Belch!
Country Music sales are pathetic. That’s not to say that any area of the music industry is booming. For that matter, entertainment as a whole is stagnant. I wonder why? Could it be that, instead of giving people choices, lots and lots of diverse choices, the entire entertainment business has decided to force-feed the consumer one brand of crap? Note to executives across the country, listen 24/7 to the noise you are programming and ask yourself if you would buy it.
In a couple of weeks I will be listening to Christmas music. Hey, Country Music, see you … or rather, hear you again in January. I’m going out on a limb here and predict I will be hearing nothing new.
Country Music is the worst of the worst when it comes to their play list. You see, it appears that the industry has decided there must be one or two big stars who drag the business along and so they promote those big stars to death. But they are living in the past and killing the genre in the process.
Not so long ago, in a past universe, there was a great superstar named Garth Brooks. Just about everything Garth touched turned to gold and his ship lifted other smaller ships around him at the same time. Country Music boomed with Garth at the top of the marquee. Then he retired, probably bored but more than likely just plain tired of pulling the weight.
So the powers that guide Country Music looked for a replacement. In their infinite wisdom, they seemed to have determined to put all their efforts behind one and make him the big star Garth once was. That selection was or is none other than Kenny Chesney. This diminutive little bald guy with the chipmunk cheeks and the voice that sounds like someone perpetually chewing on tobacco somehow got the nod to take over Garth’s place at the helm. Lift the ships, the big guys commanded. As a result, you cannot listen to Country Music in the city of Country Music without hearing a Kenny Chesney song once every hour. And God help the radio listener when old Kenny comes anywhere near the city on tour. Then he is promoted to a nauseating point of infinity.
Here’s the problem. I don’t much care for Chesney and he is no Garth Brooks. Garth made Country Music come alive. He had a personality that drew the audience into whatever he was doing and a showmanship that made you look even if you didn’t want to. Garth’s music was country but it reached out to everyone. And at the end of his shows, Garth could take off his hat and take a bow.
Chesney is a bore. His music hasn’t changed since she thought his tractor was sexy. Yes, he did have a couple of catchy tunes with a Caribbean sound, okay, Caribbean tobacco chewing sound but, at some point it was decided that all his releases would sound the same. It is a pathetic, love sick dweeb who just can’t forget the past and she’s so darn perfect, remember how great it was and she is, blah, blah, blah, blah. Cheney’s music has no original thoughts or changes. The songs all have the same rhythm to them with the same guitar solo somewhere in the middle and the same chipmunk chaw vocals all the way through. And if you listen to the three main country stations in Nashville, home of Country Music, you are treated to this cardboard box music at least once an hour. Along with Faith and Tim, that’s it. Belch!
Country Music sales are pathetic. That’s not to say that any area of the music industry is booming. For that matter, entertainment as a whole is stagnant. I wonder why? Could it be that, instead of giving people choices, lots and lots of diverse choices, the entire entertainment business has decided to force-feed the consumer one brand of crap? Note to executives across the country, listen 24/7 to the noise you are programming and ask yourself if you would buy it.
In a couple of weeks I will be listening to Christmas music. Hey, Country Music, see you … or rather, hear you again in January. I’m going out on a limb here and predict I will be hearing nothing new.
